Take 3 - Actor Erik Palladino

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Any of us who've been in it for long enough, our entire career has been littered with jobs that we didn't get, projects that we thought were gonna go for sure, dozens of unproduced scripts littering the floor.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

All of us are running into both major and minor failures in Hollywood every single day.

SPEAKER_00 0:20

For every success, there is months, sometimes even years, of painful failure. This is one of the only businesses I can think of where failure is the default.

SPEAKER_04 0:31

That's the moment you have to be able to persevere.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

I was being told by my manager it's yours to lose, and I promptly lost it. And I remember thinking like, well, that's it for me. I blew my one big shot. What I've realized from that moment is it's never one big shot. There will be other shots.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

Welcome to Screaming Into the Hollywood Abyss, a podcast about failure, rejection, and adversity in the entertainment industry. I am your successful co-host, Dan Rutstein, and I'm joined as ever by Mr. Rejection himself, co-host, writer, producer, Noah Revelin. Noah, tell us what we've got this week.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

All right. This week we have somebody really exciting. We have Journeyman Actor, in fact, writer and producer, Eric Palladino. Eric's been in about a hundred different things spanning over, you know, at least 30 years, uh, including perennial fan favorites as a regular on ER. More recently, he was in NCIS Los Angeles. He's been in Suits, he's been in Miss Masel. He's been in basically every time you turn your television on and you're watching one of your favorite shows, Eric Palladino might enter your screen. He's also a friend, and I he just has a lot of great stories about the industry. So, Eric, welcome.

SPEAKER_03 1:56

Hi, hate you, guys. It's so funny. The moment you start introducing me, my four-year-old daughter is knocking at the door, going, Daddy, Daddy.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

This is this is our reality, Eric. We're all dealing with this all of the time.

SPEAKER_04 2:11

It's funny when uh Dan, you introduced you know, Noah and you said Mr. Ejection himself. I was like, Oh, oh, it's my turn. He's introducing me. And I'm like, who knows? It's uh good to be here. I'm really excited to be part of this and to be a part of the beginning of this, which you know that's always uh nice, especially uh, you know, I always say I've I I usually in my career, I've never really been, it's funny, like being the beginning of me, right away, a rejection. I I I haven't really been part of a beginning of something that became successful, you know. And I've thought about that a few times in the like in the in the 30 years I've been working. I've always kind of jumped into things. And anytime I've been a part of something from the beginning, a pilot, it just doesn't get picked up.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Uh maybe Eric was not the right early guest. No, we're we're thrilled to have you, Eric. You you I mean, your your career speaks for itself. And yeah, let's dig into that a little bit more about, you know, no, you know, your the things you started on sort of not moving forward is a really interesting jumping, jumping off.

SPEAKER_04 3:12

Yeah, I mean, uh right out of the gate, you know, when I first came from New York to LA, my plan wasn't to move from New York to LA. I was always going to stay in New York and be a New York actor, and I got my bachelor's degree in theater, and I was doing theater and I had a theater company that I was a part of in New York. And I then got a pilot that actually it was a pilot that had already been picked up called Love and Marriage that Amy Amy Sherman created. Amy Sherman Palladino, Amy Palladino. Uh, she married a guy named Palladino, uh, was dating a guy named Palladino at that time. And it was a pilot they were recasting the role of the son. And I uh auditioned in in New York for it. It was a 17-year-old guy, 18-year-old guy, and I was 25. I was three years out of college at that point. And I'll never forget the casting director, looked at me after I did my audition, paused, and said, uh you might be too old. But we'll send it to LA anyway. And she sent it to LA. And then two days later, I got a call saying they want to test you. I was didn't even know what testing was. And uh testing is basically where it comes down between you and one or two other actors for the role, and then you audition in front of all the executives and network executives, all the suits essentially. And uh and and then they basically decide if they you're the guy. And and so they flew me out to LA and I I wound up getting it and super excited. You know, this is this is you know the big break. And of course, seven episodes in, it's the lowest-rated sitcom in the uh at the time for Fox. So they canceled it, and uh, and then I was in LA and I just decided to LA and you know, stay in LA and continue on that journey.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

Um so just a question, Eric. So you're in a show, you think this is it in a world where you know you're seeing people succeed, you think this is it, you get in, the the ratings are terrible, terrible. You know, when it gets cancelled, how much of it is sort of I wonder if it's terrible because of me. Am I a terrible actor? Should I quit? I mean, how do you go through it?

SPEAKER_04 5:23

Well, interestingly enough, I've never okay. So at that time, obviously you're 25 years old, and you know, and your first show that you've ever done gets cancelled, it's heartbreaking, you know what I mean? It was heartbreaking. I was so sad, and you know, we'd already worked together for a few months, and I was thinking that we could be working together for years to come because you don't know. It was on after married with children on Fox. It was like their answer to it. And um, you know, so that's pretty heartbreaking the first time. But then, like at everything in our business, you're you get, you know, the you know, your hands get the callus, and you know, and you know, and you're kind of nothing can you're teflon at that point, you know what I mean? You know, it all bounces off you. Um, that takes years. Uh, you know, that process takes years. That doesn't happen overnight. Um, but for you for me, I never really um I don't really, I've never been the lead. So I think if you're the lead of a show, the the the guy, if it's called Gray's Anatomy and you're, you know, Gray and it doesn't go, um, then maybe you'd probably blame yourself a little bit and have that kind of conversation to yourself, with yourself. I don't, I've never done that. So the closest I ever came to being the lead was Botchko series that I started in called Over There on FX. It was about soldiers in Iraq, and I was the sergeant of the squad, and the show was about a squad of soldiers and I kind of became the lead of that show. I think it was initially about the squad and the sergeant, but on but in many ways, they that that role kind of popped in the first few episodes, and and so they they definitely wrote often I had a lot of good stuff to do. Um, but even then it was still an ensemble show at the end of the day. So I never really took it on the chin in that way. Uh, but many of pilots that I've done over the years, I've done six pilots, and the one that I thought would go was the Guy Ritchie pilot for ABC that I did about 10 years ago, uh, shoot, 12 years ago now. And that was me, guy, uh Guy Ritchie directed it, and um Michael Ely, Carrie Ann Moss, and Charles Dutton. Awesome cast, you know. Um Guy Ritchie did a great job directing it, and they picked up Women's Murder Club instead.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

How does that, Eric? How does that work? You you get on a show, you get it's it's booked, your agent or andor your manager has called you, you filmed it, it's in the can. How does word come to you that it's not going forward? And and what do you do like right? What's your response in that moment?

SPEAKER_04 7:47

I mean, it's so each, you know, at each juncture in life, that response is always different, right? You know what I mean? Like, you know, sometimes, you know, it's a creative loss, and you feel sad about the creative part of it, you know, and usually that happens when you have enough money in the bank and less responsibility. So when you're younger, it was just creative, like, oh, it didn't get picked up. I'm sad. I was looking forward to playing this character for many, many years. When you're older and you have kids, you're like, shit, I needed a fucking job. You know what I mean? I, you know, I need, you know, I needed the job, you know, like I need I got bills. I got, you know, and yes, the creative part's great, you know, like, you know, but um, you know, I'm looking to pay some bills, you know, and so um, but it comes in different ways. And when it does come, it's never, you know, it's it's never uh not painful. It's just a different type of pain. You know what I mean? Uh, you know, how would you like your pain? You know, did I, you know, do you want to go in a hole and hide and you know and cry in a pillow? I mean, you know, or do you you just kind of I mean for me, I I always I mean I I without getting too you know new agey, I you know, I I do believe in, you know, where you're supposed to be is where you're supposed to be and what it's supposed to be is what it's supposed to be, you know, and and and so you know, my journey for whatever reason has been a guy that's jumped from show to show to show. And I think that for me, at the end of the day, it's made me a really good fucking actor because I've had to play so many different roles, you know what I mean, and because I've had a lot of really painful experiences uh along the way that has um has not stopped me from uh still loving it. And and and you know, so at the end of the day, like I I I just kind of kind of brush it off when I get that information. I don't sit in it too long. I sit in I I think that I'll sit in something when I know I fucking killed something and I go to the audition, I know it was like great, and I know there's no reason why I wouldn't be the guy. And then they call and they tell me they offered it to somebody.

SPEAKER_02 10:00

Yeah. And I I I find, which is, you know, in my experience, uh that often the phone calls are good news and often it's an email that just a didn't go your way, buddy, email from my agent or manager when when huge news just collapsed all around me when you actually give you the call and being like, this is what we're gonna be doing for you, instead of just like, you know, oh, it was a pass, and you're like, I needed that, versus like they will call you when it's so now you kind of this expectation that when they do call, it's gonna be good news, and then when they email you, it might be bad news.

SPEAKER_04 10:33

Well, I've had this happen where I've been waiting for information on like a test, and and and they'll call me, you know, I'm waiting to find out, and they'll call me and they'll be like, Hey, uh, give us a call back, right? You know, and and I'll call back and it'll be in one of the agents or something, and they'll be like, Hey, I was just calling a check to find out if uh you filled out that form for and you're like, What the fuck are you calling me for? Now is not the time to be calling me, you know, like you know, like you're like, What?

SPEAKER_02 11:06

Don't call me for fucking anything other than this, you know, like you know, like you know that just happened to me where I was up for a show and a show the showrunner I was up for called me, and I'm like, This is it, they're calling me to, and it was completely something else.

SPEAKER_04 11:19

Because there's so much rejection, you know, even in a successful career, do you get sort of scarred by and that I think that for me the biggest thing is like the difference between me and a lot of other dudes is they'll allow allow bitter into the room and angry into the room, and and there was periods where I've allowed that without a doubt. But as I've gotten older, there's just no fucking space for that. It's totally an energy that I don't need in any way, right? So I could totally allow it into the room if I wanted to, you know, destroy, you know, the part of me that's I don't know, the purity of my love for the thing, right? Or or it it it it just it it disconnects me from my instrument, you know what I mean, without sounding cheesy, it just disconnects me that energy, that shit. And I don't have room for that because I also believe in destiny. I think that maybe I'm supposed to be a guy that's like this fucking killer actor at 55 that gets his series and people like, Jesus, that guy's good. I've always thought he was good, but now he's got his hit show at 55. And also, if I would have got it in my 30s, I would have probably pissed it away and have kids now, and the money's gonna go to like their education. Like, I'm not, it's not fucking for me the money. You know what I mean? Like, like none of I buy myself nothing, you know, like I got a free hat yesterday. The guy's doing rebar in my backyard. I was like, can I get one of those? You know, like so I don't really any money that I make goes straight to my wife and the kids, you know. So, like for me, it's like I I don't there's nothing I want um for me. All I want is to have a good gig that I love acting in, right? But along the way, there's been these rejections that, like, you know, the one of my best rejection story, one of my most painful stories is uh, so I um I did this that Botchko series over there, right? About soldiers in Iraq. The show gets canceled. Now, Stephen Botchko, keep in mind at that time, I mean, he was such a nice man, he was so lovely to me and so great. And one of the nicest things that anybody ever said to me is like after we shot the pilot, we were about four episodes deep, and they had a screening for it over at Fox. And he said to me, He goes, Hey, uh, Eric, and I played this character, Sergeant Scream. Uh he goes, uh, Eric, you have a really nice suit. And and I said, Yeah, of course, of course I do, Steven. And he's like, he's like, because you're gonna need it this year. Uh he's like, I think you're gonna be nominated for an Emmy. And I was like, shut up. And he's like, dude, I'm Steven Botchgill. You know, like I, you know, basically goes, he goes, I I know these things. He goes, the work you're doing is uh fucking great. He goes, I think you got a shot. I'm like, awesome. Nobody watches the show, cuts to, but the next pilot season, he has another pilot going, and it's down between me and one other actor. Uh and uh and it wasn't the lead, it was like two female leads. It was a you know two-hander, but I was like the love interest of the main girl. And um I audition for it, uh, the get to the final audition. And on the Friday, I go to I'm not gonna tell you the name of my agency because they've they know this story, and it's one of the worst agency stories in the history of agencies. Um and they've asked me, literally, say, please don't tell the story. So on a Friday, I I test that day. I I go to my band, I was playing, I played rock in rock bands, many bands over the years, was playing a snowboarding festival uh in like Utah or Colorado. And I go to get on the plane and I get a call from one of the agents. Um, he leaves a message and and says, Paladino, blah blah blah, it's blah blah blah. You got it, you got the part, right? And I'm like, fuck yeah, fuck yeah, you're right. Like I was like, and I had a feeling it was gonna go, you know, 13 episodes, it's a guarantee, right? Like that's you know, you're gonna be, you know, making you're gonna be making money, you know. Like I get on the plane, I'm with my band, I'm like, I got drinks that weekend, drinks for everybody, and I know, you know, you know, like drinks for everybody, right? And uh I come back on Sunday, I call my agent on Monday, and he's like, Hey man, how's the weekend? I'm like, it was good, good. He's like, uh, I'm like, and this wasn't the guy who left the message, wasn't my main agent. He was a new agent there, been there for about a year. Uh the guy who left the voicemail was uh this new guy, right? And just the new guy. But I call my main agent and he's like, How's it going? I'm like, good, good, good. I'm like, how's it going over there? He's like, good. I'm like, uh super excited about you know, doing the pilot again, working with Steven again. He's a great guy. And he's like, What are you talking about? And I go, the pilot. And he goes, What are you what are you what are you talking about? I'm like, the one that I tested on Friday, I got it. I'm super excited. He's like long pause. Eric, you didn't get it. I go, what are you what are you talking about? I got a I got a message from one of the agents saying I got the part. And he's like, No, they gave it to Frank Grillo. And I go, Frank Rilla. What what what happened? I go, uh get get the other agent on the phone. Like that, and and he puts me on hold. One minute goes by, two minutes goes by, nobody gets on the phone. I hang out. I call, I had a lawyer at the time. I call my lawyer, I go, fucking fuck these people. And it was like two hours went by, nobody called. I go, fuck these people, set me up with different agents. You know, I'm already moving to a different agency. A day goes by, nobody calls me. Finally, the head of the agency calls me. Eric, there was a big mix-up. The other client, Frank Krillo, was with this agency at the time, same agent, and he called the wrong client and he made a mistake. We're sorry, this is crazy. We deeply apologize. It's terrible that this happened. Uh, and I and I just go, look, I have no problem with people making a mistake. Everybody fucking makes a mistake, but you guys didn't call me for two fucking days. You put me on hold and you didn't get back, and then you I'm like, you guys could all go fuck yourselves, you know, and you know, and and that was it. I never I never went back to that agency again, and you know, it it was what it was, but that was uh that moment extraordinary in an industry where there is so much normal rejection to get like extra, extra rejection.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

No, but I mean you you get rejected a lot. Have you ever been rejected? Sorry, have you ever been given a part uh or you know, given a writing gig and have it taken away?

SPEAKER_02 17:53

Yes, without ever writing without ever writing, without ever showing up for the job, or or often you are writing and you get let go, and then you don't know you've been let go yet, too, in our industry, because sometimes they they overlap you. So you begin working on a project, and the worst thing in our world is silence when you turn in a draft and nobody responds, and then you know that something I was up for a job in in Europe and I they flew me to Europe and I wrote this episode with all of them together in a room, all the producers, we came up with this thing, um, and we wrote this amazing episode of TV. I'm not gonna give the actual name of it, and and for a very famous director, and it was this gritty drama set in a European town, and they spent so much money getting us all out there, and it was just like this big group effort. And then I the night before I'm to turn in the outline, I get a call from the director who said, you know, I was thinking that we might want to kind of go in a sci-fi direction with this. And and by the way, I I write sci-fi, I love sci-fi, but that's not what we spent the last two months doing, right? It was a very different show. I'm like, okay, let me see if I can put a little bit in. You do know the drafts due tomorrow. And they're like, yep, totally get it. Just do what you can to add a little bit of sci-fi. Added a little bit of sci-fi, weeks go by without a response, and I learned they had hired another writer. So that so at least in that situation, I got paid. So there's other situations where you've put in so much work and you don't get paid. The only thing that I have that's comparable to that story, and it's not the same at all. Mine is way more lighthearted, is because of my first name, I have probably five times received emails meant for Noah Holly. And Noah Holly is a much bigger name in Hollywood, obviously. And so I'll see emails from agents or studios that we'd like, we're offering you X big movie. And I'm like, this can't be for me. And then you see that it's like it was, you know. We we I think Dan, we always say, and it, Eric, too, it's like, you can't don't spend the money, don't buy your buddy those drinks until they of course, of course, of course.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

I mean, you know, did you ask the agency for a refund for the drinks bill from the yeah, no, I should have, right?

SPEAKER_04 20:12

I mean, I should have. And Frank Grillo, I I know, you know what I mean. Like Frank and I like used to always be up for the same stuff, you know what I mean? Like in the same wheelhouse. But uh, you know, it's it's you know, you just you gotta take it with a grain of salt, right? Like, you know, at the end of the day, no one I don't think is evil, and no one was trying to, you know, do anything hurtful. It just it is what it is, right? People make mistakes, people are human. I didn't like how they didn't deal with it for those 48 hours. That to me is, you know, not admirable in any way. Uh, all someone needed to do was just say, hey, we fucked up. Sorry, this was a total mistake, our bad. You know what I mean? You know, but I I still, I guess, you know, it's weird. It's like the, you know, this industry is like that that the you know, sometimes it's the bad girlfriend, you know what I mean? And uh, and sometimes it's you know, it's this beautiful, magical love affair, you know, and and and that's what keeps us all hooked in many ways.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

Are there any points where you thought, you know what, this isn't working for me? I'm gonna give up and do something else.

SPEAKER_04 21:23

Um uh no, no, no. I mean, I you know, I I I started when I was 13, dude. You know what I mean? I not not professionally, but I I knew at 13 years old I want well, 12 years old, I knew I wanted to be an actor, and then I bothered my mom for a year about it, and then she found out like about some like kids' repertory, children's theater company, like you know, 20 minutes from our house, and I would go there every Saturday and I was like, oh, this is it, you know, and and I just found I just knew what I wanted to do really young, and uh and I still love it.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Is there any part that you're up for? That you came very close to, where you may be second on, or you you didn't get it, and then it went on to be an enormous hit.

SPEAKER_04 22:08

No, I don't really remember like kind of having those stories of like the enormous hit that went that didn't go my way. I mean, you know, like there was like knock around guys and boiler room, you know what I mean? I was up for parts in those, but then I wound up getting something else at the time. But uh, but those didn't, you know, necessarily. I mean, Vin Diesel, I guess, became a star off knock around guys. That was his big, you know. So maybe that one, you know, knock around guys was the one that maybe, maybe if I think about it. Why you gotta bring up bad shit? Oh, I remember because this is bad shit fucking podcast. Why do you gotta make me feel bad about shit, Dan?

SPEAKER_00 22:44

Now I'm gonna sit here.

SPEAKER_04 22:45

Now I'm gonna go, Jesus Christ, I should have got fucking knock around guys out of God Diesel right now. Minus some steroids, you know.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Like Eric, we're trying to borrow Walters this. So we yeah, exactly. I I want to ask you a little bit about plan B's because you know, this is something that I think about a lot for my own career, which is we don't give up, you and I, or anybody who's been in this business for a long time. Well, it's because it's become our career, because you have you love it, you have kids, you have bills, and the moment you begin to entertain a new option, yeah, when the foundation begins to crack for you a little bit. Once you begin to say, well, the restaurant business looks good, or I could have that bar I've always wanted, you begin to this takes all of your focus, all of your determination. And I really think it's it's the only type of failure there is at this point because your career, whether or not you've been in the big thing you wanted to be in, your career has been from the outside a massive success, right? Because you've had all of these gigs. And the moment it's a failure in your own eyes, is when you give up, is when you stop, is when you decide I'm not gonna do it anymore. Nobody is going to fire you from your job, from not from any one job, but from the whole thing. Nobody's gonna close the metaphorical gates of Hollywood and say Noah Ebslin or Eric Palladino is no longer invited. Now, Dan Rutstein, they might not let in at all, period. I get that. But like there, you know, I think talking about like you're you are the person that is going to end your own career. I mean, granted, it's gonna work for a while, but you're always I I was thinking a lot about your first story about working for Amy Sherman, right? That was a long time ago, and now you are regularly working for Miss Mazel. She's the creator uh under Amy Sherman Paladino of Miss Mazel.

SPEAKER_04 24:41

In fact, just got a call last week to go back for two more next season. It only takes one, dude. You know that, right? It only takes one. You know, I mean, you just don't know where that one, you know, and and that's what it does. You know, I I always think of Morgan Freeman, I think of these journeyman actors, and I see myself in in that way.

SPEAKER_02 24:59

And when I see George Clooney, too, right?

SPEAKER_04 25:01

George Clooney too, yeah. But George Clooney was a lot younger. Everybody always brings up Clooney. Clooney was like in his mid-30s when he got ER. You know what I mean? I'm 52, you know. Um, you know, but yes, George Clooney was definitely applicable for me 12 years ago. Um, but but now I'm going Morgan Freeman. You know, um, and and also really, it's not about like even at this point for me, like I'm like if if I got like a you know, like what if I'm up for some things even now, if it goes my way, it goes my way. You know what I mean? And if it doesn't go my way, then it doesn't go my way. And and and if it goes my way and I get the part and it's a pilot that's been picked up and it's going 13 episodes to answer your question you asked earlier, Dan. I'm not in the process of doing those 13 episodes in my mind at this point because I've been doing it so long. I really, really, and I mean this genuinely, I don't count anything until the day I'm doing it, right? So, like, I don't count anything until the day I'm doing it. So, like, if it's if it looks like it's gonna be a hit, I just don't, I'm not even I can't even have that conversation. I can get a little excited, you know, but I'm not gonna I'm I'm excited for that day.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

So yeah, now look, so I don't want to get too philosophical here, but so I'm you know, part of the reason I'm co-hosting this with Noah, he's he's an insider, I'm not, you know, I'm yeah, I'm a completely different industry. For me, you know, I look at your career, and you know, I've seen you in plenty of these shows. I know my wife has seen you in plenty of these shows. We consider you from the outside, you know, a successful actor. Do you consider yourself a successful actor?

SPEAKER_04 26:47

I do, yeah, 100%. From many for not just because of what I've done as an actor, though. You know what I mean? Like I'm a good dad, I have a great family. Uh, I know what my priorities are, I know who I am. Uh, I'm not really confused about that. In, you know, uh, I think um, you know, I love my wife, you know, I I you know, I enjoy my life. And I have other interests that aren't just acting, you know what I mean. So um, and uh, and I think that that, you know, has made me somebody that's well-rounded and and and and I and when you're well-rounded, you have a tendency to enjoy your life more. You know what I mean? Uh you know, if there's if you're coming at it from an eclectic place. And for me, if I was just doing my acting and that's all I had all the time, right? And everything was reliant on the outcome of that, right? Then you're right. I probably would not consider myself a successful actor. Um, not that you're saying I mean that that you're not your right, but then that that would be something someone would feel. Um, that's not how I feel. Uh, do I sometimes feel like, damn it, like how did I not get that part? Sometimes, but even now I don't even, you know, like I had a great audition for something the other day that I for HBO's doing in treatment uh a remake, and it was like a huge arc. I think I would be on like 80% of the series. And it was a real adult part, you know, a real like adult role, and not like me playing a cop or a lawyer or a tough character, or just me being like a dude. And and I and I don't get asked to do that that often. Um, but but I worked real hard on it, I had a great audition. I don't know if I got it or not, but I thought that I'd get a little something, you know what I mean? Like I like, hey, we saw it, there's an interest. I got nothing. Sherps, not my my agents watched the audition, liked it, you know what I mean? You know, um, so like that that'll happen sometimes when I love the role and nothing, you know. But um, you know, now that the pain is more, you know, uh, if money gets tight.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Yeah, you know, that I I I think this is really interesting, you know, on a nuts and bolts level for those who are listening who are just starting in the industry, just kind of backing up what Dan said from the appearances from the outside and how you experience it from the inside. You have 84 credits on I can see an IMDB, right? You have been in a regular on huge TV shows, you've been in massive movies, you've you've you have, you know, 20 times, 30 times the credits of a lot of other people out there, and yet you're still waiting for the Morgan Freeman moment. And I think I'm only saying this as a mirror to my own career. No matter how many credits you have, no matter what you have, there's always that golden apple that's a little further away that you want and that you think you can get to, and you keep on pushing yourself to that next level. And sometimes it takes days and people just fall into it, and sometimes it takes years. And I think that sometimes I wish I could enjoy what you say, you're kind of settling into your kids and your family and your life. Like you forget sometimes to enjoy the moment as it's happening because I'm getting better at that as I'm getting older into my legging. When I have a you know, a steady gig or I have a few things going, I'm like, remember this moment because all those moments in between can be a struggle. And it's a struggle that most people don't recognize you're going through. Yeah. And it's all great for you. And you're like, no, it's really not. I'm I missed four things in a row, or bills are coming due, or you know, we have no boss who's giving us regular paychecks. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 30:30

And I think that definitely for me, the money is more uh, you know what I mean? Like, uh, but I I I don't I don't hold my um my self-worth isn't connected to it anymore. Uh, you know, it's more, it's more like it's really is financial. I mean, uh, you know, we like I said, we have three kids, three dogs, and bills to pay. And and and so I'm connected to that sometimes. Like, oh damn, I'd you know, would have liked to have gotten that job, you know, because I could I need some more money. Um, but even then, even as I'm getting older now, like I would say the last seven, eight years of my life, that's what I you know worry about more. Uh, it's not about like getting the golden goose, getting the I mean getting the golden egg, rather. Um, it's more about like getting over some sort of hump of financial stability. Um and my buddy Vince and I, Vince Ventresk is another actor, you know, we're like, we're just trying to get to 55, man. Pension kicks in at 55, man. You know, you know, like you know, like he's like a long time actor. Vince has been in like, you know, a million shows too. And uh, you know, he's got kids that are in they're going to college now. And we're just we're just like, let's just get over that 55, you know, pension kicks in. If it's it's not a big pension, if you wait to 65, it's better. But if you with 55, you can collect it, you know, like it'll be not bad, not bad, you know, just to get us over the hump. But um, as far as like, you know, like the Morgan Freeman moment, the uh having that um that next level thing take place. I just don't even like like I believe like if you say that do you believe it's gonna happen? I do. I just don't know when. And I'm not waiting around for it.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

So you're not you've mentioned family. How are your family around you when you get rejected? Is there a you know why folks who've got the email saying you haven't got a part or the call? You know, does she can she not talk to you for the whole day?

SPEAKER_04 32:23

No, I mean here's the thing. I think that's like I said, like 10 years ago, uh I might have had a little bit more of a but we don't spend much time on it. We really don't. I know that this is the show, you know, like I don't want, you know, but we we really don't spend too much time sitting in that. Uh um, you know, uh because because if you do, it's it's um, you know, it's it's not useful, you know, it's not you're just wasting the day. I could have spent that day enjoying, you know, my time with the kids or helping the kids or being useful to someone else, you know. Um uh and and I certainly feel like one of the best things that I I uh muscles that I've built over the over time, talk speaking to being useful to someone else is I think that when I am feeling that way, when I get hit with something like that, I I I'm not gonna say I'm not gonna allow myself the time to sit like I like like if I feel that sad about it, I will go in a room and cry for 10 minutes. I will. I think that emotionally you need to do that, right? But as soon as I'm done with that five minute, because how long can you do that? I can't do that more than five minutes, you know what I mean? But I'll go, I go, I need to go in a room and like just fucking let this out. I'll cry and sit in it, and then I'm like five minutes later, I'm like, I'm done. And then what I do is I be useful to like help my kids with something. I'll do something around the house, I'll build something, I'll work, you know what I mean? I'll play piano for an hour, you know what I mean? I'll do something creative. Uh, you know, those are the avenues that I take to not sit in it too long, you know. And and and I think that that's as I've gotten old, because I didn't do it when I was younger. When I was younger, what I used to do is I'd felt bad, and then I would go out and find a girl and we'd have sex. You know what I mean? Like that was fun too, but not quite, you know, can't do that now. Uh can't do that now, gotta do something else. Uh, you know, um, I mean, uh, so you know, when I was younger, I probably didn't sit in it at all. And I wasn't when I was younger, I wasn't as you know, introspective as I am. As a, you know, it's just the nature of things, right? As you get older, you think about you know, uh, how to take care of yourself a little bit better. When you're younger, you're not even thinking about it, you're not even living uh any version of a conscious life.

SPEAKER_02 34:38

You you mentioned those calluses, growing those calluses over time. And I think that's really a valuable thing to for people to understand is how how that does develop. And that's one of their strongest skills, I think, to create longevity that that nobody really talks about too much either. It's your ability to take one of those blows and just then have to take your kid to the soccer game and be up and be cool about it. And your kids can't be dealing with this. And really, the reality is you know that you're gonna get 20, 50, 100 rejections for every yes.

SPEAKER_04 35:09

And the weird thing is, you you know, you you learn that in this business, when you get something, feels to me that when I walk into a room, um people already sort of want me. You know what I mean? They're they're very open to the possibility of me. Um when I get it, you know. Um, the guy richie one to go back down the guy richie pilot. That was an audit a part that I read, and also, you know, and the stars aligned too. When I read that role uh in the pilot, I was like, I'm gonna get this. He's like New York Italian, he's funny, he's tough. I'm like, I'm gonna this, I don't this who's gonna get this role, you know. Frank Grillo ain't getting this one, you know. So uh, you know, Frank Frank Grillo ain't doing no comedy. Come on now. Uh anyway, um, but so I I um I I couldn't make it to the audition. And when I finally, because I was busy doing something else, and when I finally got there, it was like their last audition for the whole they'd already been auditioning for weeks. And when I finally got there, Guy Richie was in the room, and it was this little room. I had no idea he was gonna be there. I was like, oh fuck, guy Richie's here, you know, and uh and it was like a small space, and um, so he was he was like you know, four feet away from me. It was like could they get a bigger room for Guy? You know, um, and when I left the audition, I was in the car for five minutes, and my agent said, uh, they want to test you. And I'm like, great. I like literally, I must have walked out of the room, he would have said said yes to him and the boa. So then I when I test for the studio, I have a great audition for the studio, and then when I test for the network, I was off. I didn't have a good audition, I got nervous. Uh and I like I plubbed the first line and I I was like, fuck, you know, and I you know, and some of the people laughed, but some of the people didn't, you know, and then I left the audition. And later when I asked I Richie, when they if they I got the call for that, I got it, uh, I asked I Richie, I said, I said, uh, I didn't think I was gonna get the part, you know. And he goes, Oh mate, yeah, you uh you you you you you fucked up that second audition. And I was like, and I was like, he goes, I go, I go, yeah. He goes, but you know, that's the guy, you know, and and and and and you know, you can't get around that if someone thinks you're the guy, you know. So that's just to me, and my my wonderful manager Leanne Cornell, who I've been with for 20 some odd years on and off, she just always says the same thing. She says, it's a numbers game. It's the numbers game, you know, it's a numbers game. At some point, if you're in it and you're good, you know, you know, she knows I'm a good actor. It's just a matter of like the right role, the right time, the right, the right scenario. And I can't, you know, I could either create that as a writer, which yeah, as no one knows, I've been trying to do, and and maybe I can make that happen and take the bull by the horn, you know, right? But uh, but other than that, you know, I I that destiny is is you know is gonna happen on someday when I walk into a room and you know somebody turns to somebody and go, that's the guy.

SPEAKER_00 38:24

You know, Eric, that's what I think this is the perfect moment for what is actually gonna is our last question, which is if you could give some advice to somebody joining the industry, what would it be?

SPEAKER_04 38:41

Um well, I'll give the same advice my dad always told me. You know, show up on time and know your lines. You know, that's what my dad always said. And I was like, when he told me that, I'm like, what do you know? You're a heating contractor in the Bronx. And he'd be like, that's I read that somewhere, sound about acting. But when you show up on time and you know your lines, you know, you'll work for a long time in the business. Because if they hire you, you know what I mean? Like you, if you know your lines and you show up on time, you'll get hired over and over again. You know what I mean? Like, once they like you and decide that they like you, like, you know, Noah creates a show, right? And he casts me, and I do a good guest star for him. He'll and he likes my work. He's gonna hire me again in the future, and that's how I usually work. I get hired, I get rehired by the same people often because they like working with me. I'm a professional, I show up on time, I know my lines. There was one time I didn't know my lines. Can I tell you that story? Oh, this is a terrible story. So uh I did the series six on History Channel. Uh, it was about Navy SEAL team six. Uh about a not, you know, it was not yes, anyway. So I um I got cast on like a I don't know, like a Wednesday, and I was like the new captain of the squad. They were recasting the captain, and and the role could have been a series rego. This is a perfect example of all of my career choices. Uh and uh they're recasting the role. Uh they'd already shot a season and they were bringing a new captain. So I do the audition, I get the part, they're like, All right, you gotta fly out on like in a day or two days later. It's for the rest of the season, so he's in every episode. Great, you know. Um, I go out, I get there on a Friday, I they do the wardrobe on a Friday. Uh, I'm shooting on a Monday, uh, the next that Monday, the first scene. I this is only like three years ago. Um, I read uh the call sheet and it says I'm in scene seven that Monday, let's just say seven. And I I have like two lines in the in the in the scene seven. Um and so I go out that weekend and hang out with friends in Canada. You know, I spent a lot of time up there shooting other shows and and uh go out for dinner drinks, having a good time in Canada, you know, like Vancouver. I love that town. And uh Sunday night I'm in my hotel room, it's like 10 o'clock at night. I'm like, let me just let me just uh just take a look at what's what's coming up in the uh tomorrow. Let me double check. Double check and it's actually 11 o'clock now. And I'm like, let me uh my call time's at like six, you know, the next morning. I like I'm like, what's uh scene eight? Ain't that read like that read like a seven before, but what is scene eight? It's like my introduction scene where I talk to all the SEAL team and everybody else in a room of like 40 people, and I lay out all the exposition of that episode as you know, as you know, would would know this is like every actor's nightmare. You know, like you know, like and I'm like, and it's and it's not just like you know, normal dialogue exposition on these shows. It's like it's you know, it's like 13 clicks in Baku, Azerbaijan, you know, to the to the, you know, and we're gonna go down, you know, like in for we're gonna hit them from the northeast, and then you'll double back from the northwest, you know, like you know, and you're like, and and there's like, you know, there's like you know, images up that you gotta point to, and it's you know, like it's all this blocking that you know you're gonna have to do, but if you know your lines really well, this is not a problem. But if you don't know your lines really well, it's a fucking problem. So I am like, holy shit. And it's about four pages of exposition where I I mean it's not like it's it's it's you know, it's the setting up of the whole episode. I'm like, holy shit, you know, and I'm pretty good at memorizing, but that's just you know, exposition is one of the hardest things to memorize. Um, because it's not like you're having a give and take conversation. You know, I say, What are you doing? You say I'm going out to the store, I'm gonna get some coffee. Okay, and I say what time you'll be back, you'll say three o'clock. You know your lines are gonna be, I'm going to the store to get coffee at three o'clock. You know what I mean? You know, like you know, because I'm asking you the question and you're gonna give me an obvious answer that makes sense in the hands of any good writer. You know what I mean? You know, so um this is just like it's like you might as well be saying gobbledygoop for four pages half the time, you know. So, and I'm good with exposition. That's like one of the other reasons why I get hired, because I make exposition not sound like exposition. That's like one of my strengths as an actor, you know. Like on NCISLA, I do it all the time. When I walk on that set, it's like, all right, Sabatito's here, the series regulars don't have to say anything because I'm gonna deliver all the exposition, you know. So, um, you know, so I get there, I get there, you know, and I stay up till like three o'clock in the morning doing my best. It's not going well, it's not sticking. I'm, you know, you don't memorize lines while you're tired. That's one of the worst things to do. Um, I get there at six o'clock in the morning. I say, hey, you know, I I talked to one of the producers. I'm like, hey, I just so you know, uh this is a major fuck up. It's my first day on set, by the way. I'm meeting all the series regulars for the first time. Like, you know, these guys have been working together for a year and a half, you know what I mean? And they're all they're like hardened seals. This point, real seals, you know, they've been doing, you know, the and I'm like their new boss, you know, like you know, I'm supposed to come in confident as fuck, not like insecure, like, hey, I don't really know my lines, you know, like so. You know, uh I I get there and I get on set to try to start, you know, like feeling the room. I go, where's the set? I need to be on the set before anybody else shows up. I just need to be in the space, so I'm feeling at least confident in the space. I get there and all the series where I go, like, hey, really glad to have you, Eric. I love, you know, some people are very complimentary. I've worked with other people there before, so I'm not like in this void, but you are the new kid in the school, right? You're the new kid on the block. And and I I'm you know, and you never want to start out a meeting with an apology, right? You know what I mean? I don't want to start out with an I'm fucking sorry. Uh, you know, and I, you know, I gotta tell the producer, I'm like, it might be sketchy today, but I'm sorry, I read the call sheet wrong. I've never done this before in my career. I know this is terrible. I'm sorry though. I'm gonna do my best. They have they're all in front of me. There's 40 like extras, you know what I mean? Because this is a big operation we're about to understand, you know, like we're and 40 extras, and I and I, you know, I I I I fight my way through it. It's okay, it's not great, but then the main guy, the series regular, I have to do a handoff to a couple of times, and is uh um uh he he was fucking up his dialogue too, but he had a lot less than me. And uh to this day, I mean it would be a great story if he said I did that on purpose, uh, but he didn't. Like, you know, like he didn't know his dialogue that great, and it literally saved me at least. It was like every time I did a handoff to him, he was like, um uh what what's the line? You know, like and he was asking for line, English actor, by the way. Uh and it was um it was very helpful. Me, this is a he had a bad day because he always does his dialogue after that, but for the most part. Uh, and I mean, I really thought I was gonna get fired. I was like, they're gonna fire me. There's no way they're gonna, uh, you know, and they didn't, but it sucked. It was that was probably one of the worst days of of my career as an actor on a set because it was just I was sweating, it was like a nightmare, you know what I mean? Like 40 people looking at you, you might as you know, like it was it was horrific.

SPEAKER_00 46:22

Um, so Eric Palladino, you have just justified why we selected you as a guest for a podcast about rejection and failure in the industry. So, Eric Palladino, thank you very much indeed.

SPEAKER_04 46:36

I wish you the best of luck with this. I hope uh you get a lot of listeners.

SPEAKER_00 46:40

I hope this is something that you were involved in from the beginning that works.

SPEAKER_02 46:43

Yeah, so do I. All right, that's a wrap on this episode. If you want to leave us any feedback, go to hollywoodabyss.com.

SPEAKER_00 46:53

And if you'd like to subscribe, we won't stop you. And if you want to leave a review, we certainly won't stop you. In fact, we'll be incredibly grateful.

SPEAKER_02 47:00

And we have a couple of thank yous before we go completely. We want to thank James Launch for the intro and outro music. We want to thank both our wives who allowed us to hide in our respective basements while we record all of these interviews.

SPEAKER_00 47:14

If you want to find us on Twitter and join in the conversation, I'm at Dan Rutstein, and Noah is at NEBslin. Please come and find us, please say hello, and if you really want to, please give Noah a job.

SPEAKER_02 47:25

Yes, I am looking for a job of any sort. I can polish shoes, I can write copy, I can even be in a writer's room. So if that's the case, feel free to reach out.

SPEAKER_00 47:36

But you definitely can't podcast.

SPEAKER_02 47:38

I definitely this is not the thing that I do well.